Living La Vida Horlicks

TK accuses me of hubby-bashing way too much. I tell her that until my life takes an interesting turn and I give up my desk-job and turn into some adventure-monkey, the hubby will be my primary victim. So here's one more to him...

Hubby has taken to drinking Horlicks at night. Yes, Horlicks (The Great Family Nourisher of India that usually kids below the age of 10 or expecting mother's drink). And I make it for him. People who know me know I am NOT the kind who mixes health drinks for family members who are not sick, however, much they might mean to me.

It all started when I have discovered an ancient relic: a jar of Horlicks with just 3 spoons left. I needed a jar badly to paint on (Don't ask for details, I'll save that one for another rainy day on the blog when there's nothing happening). So I emptied the bottle, mixed the remaining Horlicks in milk and gave it to Hubby to drink.(He can drink a LOT). Unfortunately, the Man liked it and in the next shopping trip, a full bottle replaced the empty one. I confess I did make it again as I longed to try a cuppa myself. I hoped this chore would transition to the rightful hands soon enough like making of the bed tea had.

Last night:
He: (walking into kitchen and standing around vaguely) This Horlicks at night is really good.
Me: *Furiously rearranging photos on Picasa and emailing people* Yes? Making a cup?
He: Hmmm. *taking a sip of water*. I could make it myself if you are busy.
Me: *Blow a kiss* (Come on, that's universal language for "Thank you Sweetie, you're the best, please go ahead)
He: *Poised with water glass in mid-air, waiting*
Me: *Blow another kiss* (Universal language for "Go on now. Why are we waiting?")
He: It's cool. Finish your emailing. Actually I think later is better.

Is this his second childhood or had he never passed out of the first one?!! Should I be worrying about the fact that he drinks Horlicks or the fact that I see many years of Horlicks-making in front of me?

Life is, well, it is what it is...

Sister can you hear me now
Ringing in your ears
I'm down on the ground
My luck's been tried for years

I'm lost in the dark
And I feel like a dinosaur
Broken face and broken hands
I'm a broken man

I've hit the wall
I'm about to fall
But I'm closing in on it
I feel so weak
On a losing streak
Watch my taillights fade to black
Taillights Fade (by Buffalo Tom)

Something snapped inside me yesterday. Somewhere in the middle of this huge life of mine, I have forgotten myself. I feel lost between my work, my family, my friends. I used to be happier, before I became who I am now. I never noticed I was going through some sort of change until last night, when the past year was put into perspective. I realized with a shock that it was really me, that I had actually done all those things, that I had deliberately changed my own life.

Hopelessness and "quiet desperation" might be the order of the day, but I know better. I've known unhappiness way too closely and way too many times to not learn undying optimism. To that I say Cheers! to me. :) "Everythings' gonna be alright"... Dory to Marlin in Finding Nemo

Call it growing up or growing real, but I suddenly hate using blogging as a vent to my frustration. And as always, I hate sounding like a crib pot! There's too much happening right now. Here's to the hope that things will sort themselves out.

And they will indeed. Monsoons are here, the grass is lush green, the flowers are in bloom, the birds are chirping. My tiny garden looks fantastic (although it is too early to say if the crabgrass will rear its ugly head with all the rain). My herbs are growing. The Oleander, Colocasia and miniature Erethrena look beautiful in the front. The hydrangeas with their pink and blue flowers are a delight to watch.

Got a new breakfast table for the balcony overlooking the garden and recessed lights in the living room and study. Meeting missy moi aka PS for lunch on Monday. It's been too long. Way too long. I can barely wait..........

"Keep swimming"... Dory in Finding Nemo