Ode to this morning!

I am not a morning person but there was something peculiarly fresh about the gently chilly wintry morning today. It had rained out of the blue last night and the air was smelling absolutely fresh. The lazy looking sun mirrored my lethargy of getting up for the grind as it spreads its bright arms around.

I slept like a baby in my baby's arms and got up so loved. Hmmmm didn't want to get out of bed today. Mom and dad head back to Shimla today. And though (or maybe because) I didn't spend much time with them (feeling guilty now), I am going to miss them terribly.

I laid my head on ma's "godi" and told her that I will miss her. As Ma's soft touch caressed my forehead ever so lovingly, my discerning senses heard the voice of astir birds blend into the mellow devotional music playing in the neighborhood. And a hot cup of tea and a satisfying breakfast of hot puris and lal mirchi pickle sets the palate (and the day) moving. Time to head for work...

Hmmm.. The day doesn't seem so bad after all. A good morning indeed to all!

Of friends and complicated situations

VB and A broke up after four years of marriage. And even though I've always known that they were not right for each other and that they had made a mistake in tying the knot in the first place, the news still shocked me. I guess I am still the conservative kind.

To me marriage is an institution that two people build over the years. And to see it fall apart just shakes up the very foundation of my beliefs. But the fact remains we had known all along that VB and A had a very shaky relationship. They were two entirely different people who had very little in common. We've known VB for a very long time and he is one of the most sensitive and affectionate individuals I've known. He is funny and he can make anyone smile and he is always a joy to have around. When VB fell in love with A, we were all a little taken aback because A was very different from any of us. I do not know whether it was because she was from a different background and culture, or it was the way she was brought up, but she was dominating, materialistic and demanding. We never thought VB would end up marrying A but when he announced that he was getting married, none of us had the courage to dispel his cloud of happiness by telling him how wrong they were for each other.

Right after they got married A told VB that she did not like interacting with his friends and she was not happy when he chatted with them in Hindi because she was unable to follow the conversation. A was a Tam Bram. So VB stopped calling his friends. We hoped with time A would feel more secure in her marriage and things would change. But they got worse. They fought all the time. I guess it boils down to having two very different people who had very different expectations out of life, being thrown together in a relation that neither of them were prepared for. So after four years of bitterness and bickering and following the birth of their son, VB and A decided to call it quits.

I guess what has me most disturbed about the matter is that this could have been prevented if VB had realized before he got married that A was not the right girl for him. But he was blinded with passion at that time and nobody helped him see through the haze. Now, they have not only messed up their own lives, they have brought a little child into the world who will grow up not knowing a proper family. I think it is tragic.

Why is it that we find it so difficult to tell the people we care about that we want the very best for them and that they would be better off not getting involved with the wrong person? Probably because it is none of my business or anyone else's for that matter. Perhaps it is the fear of hurting the person and losing the friendship. May be it is the apprehension that the truth will not be acceptable to my friend and he will reject it and hate me for telling him such "untruths". What does one do under these circumstances? I wish I knew............

Sniffles strike back!!

I'm sick. (sniff sniff)
I've got the sniffles. (atchoooo!..wherez de disshu?)
Aches and pain in every bone and muscle in my body.
Blurry red eyes, runny red nose and a tongue that feels like I've eaten a bagful of sawdust.

Arggh!I HATE being sick. Oh lordy! I was down all weekend with a temperature and chills and aches. I took off yesterday because we were having a piece of furniture delivered. Fortunately, the delivery came early in the day so I was able to return to bed, where I had been the past three days.

This morning, I was feeling a little better and decided I could return to work. BIG MISTAKE. I feel lousy now and the damn chills and tiredness is back. I have been surviving on hot soup the whole day. And when I get back home, I'm going to soak myself in the hot tub. That should kill the darn cold!!

All the Vicks Action500 that I popped in is making me groggy and the evil "count dracula" of a boss is making life even more miserable. He tells me I am growing old and should take retirement. Grrr.. will show him.

On a happier note, my solider boy and me made up with kisses, hugs, cuddles and snuggles! Thanks to Abhi for being the messenger boy and RM, GR, AC, TK & SP for putting up with a very boorish GG yesterday.

*muaaah* Love you all!

Wise words from Calvin

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us, that we don't take the time to enjoy where we are. Days go by and we hardly notice them. Life becomes a blur. Often, it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we've made. But it's too late to change anything. -Calvin & Hobbes, Weirdos From Another Planet!

Today I felt like my emotions went on a roller-coaster ride. Tried so hard to rationalise things. Wasn't easy, but I managed. Calvin helped put a whole lot of things in perspective like live in the present since "life is beautiful" right now. Why think of the future and ruin the "now"?

Don't walk away!

I was in no mood to post today but forced myself.. for RMs sake! You see its my buddy's birthday and this is my tribute to him.

I know just what you're doing
You don't want to put the hurt on someone
You've been trying to convince yourself
You're better off if you just turn and run

But I'm gonna hold on tight
I've got a feeling
You'll only happen once to me
And no one not even you
Is ever gonna make you wrong for me

Don't walk away
Or are you looking for a price to pay
Is that your master plan
Don't walk away
I'll do everything to make you stay
I've got to make a stand
Don't walk away
I'm not afraid
Don't walk away

I don't know where you're going
But I know what you've got on your mind
And I think your fear is showing
You don't leave things like fear behind

And I hate to be the one
To break it to you that
We're only human after all
I can mend a broken wing
I'll give you everything I have
(words and music by Rick Springfield)

These words bring a poignant question to my mind. Are you a stronger person for walking away or for staying? Allow me to elaborate.

If you are in a relationship and its not working out, but you want it to work, are you stronger for walking away even though you don't want to, or for staying and trying to work it out?

RM and I were discussing this just today and concluded that it really depends on the person. If it is someone, like me, who is more likely to bolt because of a fear of future pain, then the strongest choice is to stay because it would take a lot more to get me to stay. If it were someone (like Ranjit!) who always tries to make it work no matter what, then it would be stronger for them to walk away, because it goes against their natural inclinations. Right?

I admire RM for his mettle and patience. We have had our share of nasty fights (RM has a mega bump on his head to prove it). I must have walked away from this relationship a million times (RM can be so exasperating!!!) in the last (6 +) years but he kept it going... RM reasoned with me (I agree that can be tough!) and convinced me every time to give it another shot. That investment (in time, energy and patience) paid off and we share a wonderful friendship today.

Thanks RM for your tenacity! Wish you a happy 28th birthday! yes i found out!! Advantage of being in HR.